Know Your Blueprint

For years, Brittney and I kept doing things in bed out of pure momentum, while the things that actually worked went unspoken. The fix was simple: an honest audit of what lands, and what never has. Here's how to run yours.

For years I wanted something different out of intimacy than the advice described, and couldn't name it. Then I found a 1980 framework that gave me the words: arousal lives in three dimensions — connection, trance, and roleplay. Here's how to find yours.

For most of my life I couldn't have told you what I was actually reaching for in intimacy. Underneath everything was one unnamed longing: to be seen. Naming it explained how I love. Here's what your core desire reveals — and why it matters most.

I'm a Four, and for years I understood how that shaped my work and moods — but never connected how completely it shaped what I want in the bedroom. Here's how all nine Enneagram types show up in intimacy, and why knowing yours helps.

The first time I took the quiz, my result — "Shapeshifter" — read like a diary I didn't know I'd been keeping. Then Brittney came back different, and years of gentle confusion made sense. Here are the five erotic blueprints, and how to find yours.

The most confusing moments in my marriage weren't fights — they were quiet misfires where we were both trying and still out of sync. The culprit was almost always the same: two different arousal arcs we'd never mapped. Here's how to map yours.

I have a confession that will surprise no one who knows me: I love a good assessment. Enneagram, StrengthsFinder, personality inventories, working-genius quizzes — if there's a framework that promises to hand me language for how I'm wired, I'm already taking it. Brittney teases me about it, but there's a real reason I chase these things. Being handed accurate words for yourself is a small kind of liberation. Suddenly a pattern you'd felt your whole life but never named has a

I'm the kind of person who reads the manual for everything — except, for years, the one that mattered most. So I finally built it: a one-page map of how I'm actually wired. Here's the Intimacy Blueprint, and why every couple needs one.